Diary for my daughter 03.08.2024 - Twelve Olympians

Chapter 1

Was ..... ok was , is so hard when you talk about that at past , I wish to never spoke at past about you , but the life make that ...
    I think was ... (ok ... now I start to hate this word) a nice period, sunny days and we was together, I remember when I meet you , you was so shine , from all the people,  you shine like an angel,  I was blocked,  my mind was blocked, I never know if you saw me then , but my breath was stopped for a second . I just want to talk whit you . I want to be that person who surprise you,  I know you have many pretends who want to love you , and I was afraid about that , but I was there ....
    This is our story and I hope maybe in one day you will understand......
    February 4 , my birthday,  a lot of people call me to say "Happy birthday" a lot of messages , but I'm not happy, my heart is stopped , I can't feel nothing , after my past , and how much I suffer I stop to love again , I close in myself, my heart refuse to suffer anymore. My phone rang and a friend of mine tell me to get out... we meet in McDonald's place ( what ? They have good milkshakes) ....
"How are you? , Happy Birthday mate!"
"Thanks ! Still alive! "
"C'mon is your Birthday, be happy!"
"Yes , but don't think at party or things like this because I don't want that"
"Why ?"
"You know why ... I'm not party type!"
"Let's go to pub , drink something, talk whit some girls!"
"In any case NO , definitely NO , no way to go in pub , I go straight home after and that's it"
"Ok mate , calm down"
"Thank you for understanding,  you know , I'm broken and I'm not a sociable guy in this days"
"Yes , I know"
"Tommorow I will go to work so , thank you for your inviting, see you mate , I will go now , I'm my dark side"
"You're welcome, take care mate"
"See you"
   When I say in my dark side , after all I close myself in me , I just want to stay in my world my and myself, I'm tired to fight or to try to do the things well , I just let it be . I go back home and I just stay in bed to think how miserable I am . After I go to gym , because in gym I found my only relaxing place . So I just live , without any reason to life , just exist , without any wishes or desires......
    Morning (I hate mornings) I'm getting ready to go to work , hopefully in time ,this time (I always late, I'm not a morning person) until I drink my coffe and I make my toilet the clock ring again .... I late , again .... but ... i don't care , they are mor important things in life... ( they are ? But I loose all so I don't care) .... ok ... was like that ....
      Four years earlier I meet her , we fall in love and we have a nice relationship for 4 years until she decides to leave and let me down .... I am broken and that is for long time , nobody can heal me , I stop to love , to care , to be sociable , i just want to lie forever and never get up .
      I am arrived at work at 08:35 ... (just five minutes late ? Ok ... I hope to not get a ticket ) the same people,  the same boring think , we do the same things everyday , I think i just get use whit that and i like that monotony, work , gym and home .... but ... today... what ....
"Who is she?" I ask my colleague..
"She is Mady ... our new assistant" he answered whit a smile on his face ....
    I remain blocked , couldn't say a word , loose all my monotony,  and my stone heart start to beat again .... what she done .... what magic is that ... God ....