Diary for my daughter 12.10.2021

 

Hello My little penguin 🐧! Tata here! Hope you're well and listen to your mummy! Tata is fine . Just have a headache. But I think that is from sleepless hours (I will be fine , keep fighting for you) . Today was a strange day , cold in the morning, in the afternoon was warm and in the evening is cold again . So I feel cold , very warm and cold again ... I think soon I will have fever 🤒 . Story of Today is about your dad . You know a lot of people think I am a strong man and I have courage... but reality was until few months ago I've been just a man who was scared about everything, I was understand wrong the courage and after I was full of fear , fear to loose you and your mum , but that fear make that happen... I've been scared to not make you mum cry  , but exactly that I've done . Now after whole this time passed I had time to rewind every little moments where I was wrong .... and yes are some bunch of them . After long time I realised that everything was I've done was because I've been to scared ... I know is hard to explain that , but I will try .... I lie your mum whit one thing (I told her I not love her!) , I've done that because I didn't wanted to make her cry ... that was the most painful think which I was done (I always love your mum , and now much more , she is the perfect woman, you know ... your mum was the last woman who touched me , I will never allow another woman to touch me (except you and your mum)) . Being scared to not loose her , I lost her ... and everyday I will whit this sin .... I told you this story to understand one think... never be afraid to love , because fear is not good , look what your tata pays because he was afraid.... being honest I've prefer to die than to keep paying the worst price (to not see you and your mum) . I love you infinite my little penguin 🐧! I'm so sorry because another day was pass and I didn’t hug you 😔! Please forgive me. Be nice and listen your mum ! I will write you again tomorrow!